About — Kissed & Dismissed

WHAT IS KISSED & DISMISSED?

I first started this site in 2013 as a place to chronicle my journey of dating in a new city when I first moved to Atlanta from South Florida. My plan was to be the next Carrie Bradshaw—or something like that.

Because something ridiculously weird was happening: Little old me, who had never even gotten her first kiss until nearly age 21, was suddenly finding herself double- and triple-booked for dates each week.

However, within just a few months, my dating-blogger plan was foiled when I met a keeper, got into a serious relationship, and ran out of funny OkCupid messages and first-date stories to share.

Who likes reading dating stories from happy couples? The jaded cynic is so much more entertaining, am I right?

But the relationship eventually ended, and I found myself looking for an outlet to write about my romantic adventures once again. So when a crazy virus put the entire world on lockdown, I figured it would be interesting to blog about finding love in the time of COVID-19.

I stuck with the name Kissed & Dismissed for two reasons:

I was someone who always got kissed and dismissed (or not kissed at all), but I figured out how to become more dateable. Now I want to use this site to teach you how I did it.
My methodology is focused heavily on positivity and confidence building. Hold on to what makes you feel good; dismiss anything else.

New, free content with my real-life stories and dating advice will be released here each week. Follow me to make sure you catch every post!

I will also send out exclusive material through my email newsletter. Sign up if you don’t want to miss out on any bonus material!

MY STORY

I Was Always the Friend

Sure, people thought I was sweet, nice, and smart but never sexy, interesting, or dateable.

When I hit high school without ever having been kissed, I started to get really worried.

Shouldn’t I have at least been kissed by now?

I wasn’t cool or pretty or popular. I didn’t get invited to parties or asked to school dances.

Instead, I lived vicariously through all of my favorite TV shows and movies, wondering when my day would finally come. I dreamed of the day some awesome person would sweep me off my feet and make me feel special.

High school came and went, and still nothing. Most of my friends had their first serious relationships and lost their virginities, and I still hadn’t even been kissed.

I felt like the world’s biggest loser.

And the more time that passed, the worse it got.

That feeling that everyone had more experience with it all than I did made me feel like I’d never possibly be enough for anyone—not when they’d be used to people who already had confidence and knew what they were doing.

And if 20 years had passed and no one wanted to be with me yet, what were the chances that anyone ever would anyway?

If 20 years had passed and no one wanted to be with me yet, what were the chances that anyone ever would?

So I Settled

With this mindset, I ended up having my first everything at nearly 21 with a guy who only wanted to be friends with benefits. Even though he didn’t want a relationship, someone finally expressed an interest in sleeping with me, so I couldn’t say no. I felt so hopeless about love that I truly didn’t think I’d ever get another chance.

The whole thing didn’t last long. After a few months of lame hookups and surface-level friendship, he got back with his ex.

And I became more depressed and hopeless than ever.

I gained a ton of weight, skipped all my classes, and got the only bad grades I’d ever received in my life. I alienated one of my best friends and barely left my room.

Hitting Rock Bottom

When I graduated college, I was single and nearly 50 pounds overweight. I moved back in with my parents because I had no clue what to do with my life and no real professional experience or job prospects. I didn’t even get called back for cashier jobs.

It went on like this for months. I started seeing a shrink after about six months, but the real turning point for me was a conversation with my best friend.

We were in the car one night around Thanksgiving, and she turned to me and said, “You know, Laura, I’m genuinely scared I’m going to get a call one of these days that you committed suicide.”

My stomach dropped. Her statement hit me like a ton of bricks.

I knew that I was sad, but I hadn’t been considering suicide.

If my best friend perceived me as that down, then it was no wonder I couldn’t get a job interview or a date. Who, in their right mind, would want to get involved with a girl exuding so little potential and so much negative energy?

“Who, in their right mind, would want to get involved with a girl exuding so little potential and so much negative energy?”

Reaching the Turning Point

Her words echoed in my mind for days and finally lit a fire under me to make some changes.

Little by little, I turned my entire life around.

It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t quick. It took me about a year and a half of intense focus and dedication, but I did it:

Dropped nearly 40 pounds
Moved to a brand-new city
Got a full-time job (and multiple subsequent promotions)
Had guys lining up to date me
Ended up in a great long-term relationship

It took a lot of trial and error. I had to learn how to get motivated and be disciplined.

I had to learn how to get motivated and be disciplined.

Where I Am Today

Fast forward a few more years, and I moved to a new city and started all over again. I earned my best job yet and still get asked out regularly.

I don’t say that to brag but rather to show that anything is possible no matter your past or where you start. And the fact that my results are repeatable shows that my system works.

And now I can share all that I’ve learned with you. In fact, I’m currently dating too, so I’ll be on the journey to find love alongside you.

My mission is to help people who are struggling to believe that they could have a great love story.

I went from being a super late bloomer and a perpetual third wheel to the one all my friends come to for sex and relationship advice. If I can do it, you can too.

Everyone deserves to feel confident, happy, and loved.

And I firmly believe every single person can be all those things.

So I hope you’ll follow along with my dating adventures and pick up a trick or two along the way too!

Love always,

Laura